Meyer

"Seeing people that look like you is often the first step to making meaningful change."

I am currently 25. When my mother was my age, she arrived in a new country with her one-year-old daughter, me. When she came here, she didn’t know anyone. And outside of the first week, she wasn’t sure where she would be staying. She took a chance, in the hopes that she could plant a life that would grow into her wildest dreams, colourful, vivid, and eccentric. Whenever I need a confidence boost, I think of my mama. The bravest person I know. Her fearlessness is admirable. Through storming weather and the earth-shattering beneath her, she remained bright and stable. I absolutely could not have done what she did traveling all by myself, let alone with a baby. I am forever grateful for this sacrifice, and the life it has afforded me.

My mother’s journey while difficult, could have been much harder. You see, she got lucky. While here, she made connections to people in the Ghanaian community, where we are from originally, and a good samaritan offered her a room in his home. He and his family supported us in every way, and to this day, I consider him to be a second dad. I know that he still sees me as baby Meyer, running through his living room in my onesie, making messes, and babbling unintelligible words.

But what if my mom never met this man and his family, where would she turn to? I have been volunteering with the Surrey Women’s Centre since October of 2023. During this time, I can count on one hand the number of Black women I have seen enter the space. Interestingly, Surrey is the city with the largest black population in BC. So, numbers-wise, it doesn’t make sense that the number of Black visitors would be so low.

I can think of many reasons why Black women do not frequent the space and the resources provided, shame and pride being a few. We grow up having to be strong. There is little room for weakness, and we often carry the burdens of our families on our shoulders, as my mother did. A consequence of this strength often means that when help is needed, we don’t seek it. Sadly, we are not afforded the luxury to break down the armor that allows us to keep marching in our battles.

Another reason why we don’t frequent such spaces is due to how welcoming they are to us. Every single person I have met who works or volunteers at the Surrey Women’s Centre cares deeply for the well-being of women and I see them work tirelessly to help. However, I believe the lack of Black women who utilize the services is due to a cultural divide. The sort of help that Black women need isn’t something that is offered by many service organizations. There are many great things out there, but they must be tailored to make them safer for black women. For example, having a counselor who specializes in the trauma that comes from migrating, or is trained in giving care to those who are deeply religious, are things that would be helpful to Black women, but are not offered by many service organizations.

Seeing people that look like you is often the first step to making meaningful change. I am glad that my presence in the space can alert other Black women that they are welcome. Even I, a woman who in my current state is greatly privileged, was relieved when I saw the other Black employees and volunteers when I first began.

I hope that one day, women will not have to hope for the generosity of a stranger the way my mom did. This, above everything else, is why I volunteer my time. I hope that there will be infrastructure in place that meets Black women’s every need. I hope that places like the Surrey Women’s Centre will be places that they run to in hopes of being helped, rather than places they run from because they don’t believe the help that they need exists for them there. I hope that Black women will be able to find strength in vulnerability and bask in the warmth that comes from asking for and receiving help.

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